What I didn't know then

One of my prominent childhood memories occurred one sunny afternoon while I was stuck inside the house.  My cousin was down from Ohio visiting for the summer, and for some reason that I can’t remember we were all grounded for the day.  My father, who reminded me of a drill sergeant in my younger days, felt the need to punish us for some slight done by adventurous kids.  Back then that meant no going outside; while this may seem insignificant to kids today, we were devastated.  However, I regress from my point.  As we were stared longingly out the window, we decided of the many different horrible names we could call my father (honestly, how big is the retinue of bad language for a 12 yr old?) and how different we were going to raise our kids when we were older.

I told my cousin then that I would never yell at my kids, would never spank them, and I would be their best friend.  She decided that she would feed them cheeseburgers all the time and would never punish her kids.  Looking back at these ridiculous ideals we held a “good” parent up to, I laugh at my younger, innocent self.  I don’t know how I expected to achieve these goals and still be thought of as a good parent.

Since I have grown up and had children of my own, I remember these childhood thoughts and shake my head.  While I don’t always yell at my kids, I do have the occasional moment when my anger overrules my better judgment and the scream escapes from my throat.  I do spank my children.  Spanking is a very controversial topic, and I will only say to each their own.  The issue of spanking a child is for each parent to decide on their own, and I will add the comment that spanking does not mean beating.  And lastly, I am not my children’s best friend nor do I long for that achievement anymore.  I want my children to know that they have the ability to come and talk to me no matter what the subject, and that I will not judge them.  However, I am not here to tell them what they want to hear and they will not always like what I have to say. 

Perhaps we were a bit harsh on my dad that day so many years ago.  I wish I was able to tell him that even though he wasn’t the perfect parent, he and my mom did a remarkable job raising me.