Candy for Kiddos

As I am a student studying to be a teacher, I have learned that we are not to motivate our students with extrinsic rewards.  In layman’s terms, don’t give them something for doing what you want.  While I personally don’t agree with this knowledge, it does make me wonder about extending this topic towards parenting.  Are we supposed to use bribery with our children?

YES!  And I finally have a book that encourages this method.  Richard Templar’s The Rules of Parenting states that bribery isn’t bad as one of its rules.  Templar suggests that as long as the reward fits the request, and that this will lead to the kids eventually doing many free requests.  This is one rule that I don’t have to experiment, because I already implement the tactic in my parenting skills.  Some people ask if that will lead to spoiled children, or kids that just ask for something in return every time they do something they are supposed to.    My response to this critic is that no, my kids don’t expect something in return automatically for doing something right.  Occasionally I do get the request for some candy or being able to watch one of their shows on TV, but not at any specific time or when they do something right.  The majority of the time praise works wonders.

Will this change in the future?  Will my daughter ask for a new pair of shoes when she completes her homework?  I don’t know.  None of us know what the future holds or if what we are doing now will affect who our children become.  We just try what we think is right, what we think works, and hope for the best.  However, knowing my daughter and the little diva she already thinks she is, she will ask for new shoes all of the time.  But it will only be because she is in love with shoes and thinks she needs 50 pairs of them and not because she is a good girl.