I recently had to read a text book on human sexuality. For children, this text book suggests being open about human body parts and to not shy away from your children while naked. Since this is also a chapter in Richard Kemplar’s The Rules of Parenting, I’ve decided to take up this subject in my blog.
Rule 80 in the Rules of Parenting book states that parents should adopt a healthy attitude about sex. By this the author simply suggests that parents try to feel comfortable with talking about sex with their teenagers so as to keep the communication lines open and impress a responsible viewpoint on your children. While it is true that I agree with this viewpoint, my husband has very strong objections to me being open about sex with our daughter when she comes to that age. He believes that it will encourage her to go out there and try sex. I happen to think that it will leave her with an informed decision to make for herself. However, since that time is still at least 10 years away—hopefully—and this blog is about early childhood parenting, I am going to refer back to my human sexuality textbook.
While I don’t remember the exact book used during this class, I do clearly remember the chapter on educating children. I remember it so well because I read it aloud to my husband. The look of absolute disgust that crossed his face may give you an idea about his feelings towards the subject. The book stated that in order to raise children that are comfortable with their own sexuality, parents shouldn’t shy away from being naked around them. In no way was the book saying to go prancing around your kids in your birthday suit. It simply suggested that instead of screaming and shockingly telling your kids to go away when they do catch you in the nude, that a parent should ignore the fact and get dressed as if nothing was amiss.
Now this leads to my personal experiences and opinions. I tried the method of ignoring the nakedness issue and just getting dressed. My kids were curious but never made a big deal about it. On the other hand, my husband shrieks and tells my kids to go away so daddy can get dressed. So with my kids being exposed to opposing methods I wonder how they will adjust. I want them to be able to talk to me about sex when they get to that age. And yes, I will take my daughter to get birth control when she asks me for it. My husband will have to be ignorant of this fact because he would freak out and try to go after some imaginary boyfriend. Do I want my children exposed to sexual shows and naked people? No. But I do want them to know that nothing is wrong with their body—it’s just how they were made.
I think it’s interesting how little parents know about sex. How is it possible to hide from it? We have it around us all the time. Sex SELLS, so we see it constantly. TV, Radio, and billboards fill our senses with innuendos of sex almost constantly. Even just going to the grocery store, especially here in Tampa, where there are so many porn shops around. Daddy, why is that woman naked in the window?
ReplyDeleteEven worse is that if we hide it from our kids, they will be more curious than ever. And sooner or later someone will come along who DOES NOT hide it. Children just need to learn to respect their bodies, and know it’s not something to randomly play with ... I mean even here around USF there are 5 offenders.
But the 10% caught it nothing compared to the 90% who indulge every day behind closed doors . But of course, most parents will say, that only happens over there, it will never happen here, especially since my child goes to a private school NOT ! Hiding sex can be more dangerous than anything, since it is likely sooner rather than later that it shows up where you least expect it....
I totally agree with you, children need to feel comfortable, especially when they get to the age when they are learning about sexuality. Eric is right, sex is all around us these days and we see it everywhere, there is no hiding it. Kids will be more confident about themselves with knowledge.
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