Separate but Equal

Playing favorites with your children is always looked upon badly.  However, what some people fail to realize is that you bond more with the child that resembles you more.  At least this is what my parenting book states.  Rule 44 in Richard Templar’s The Rules of Parenting touches a bit on this subject.  Templar suggests that the child you least identify with may grow up feeling that you don’t love them as much as the other one.  He also goes on to state that no matter what half of that child’s genes are yours and as a parent you need to find that part of you in them to be able to bond with them more.

I personally understand what he’s saying here, but I think it’s a load of bull.  I love my children, and there are times where I don’t especially like them.  But I would never show one more love than the other.  I am bonded with them because I’m their mother.  I love them for who they are inside. 

My daughter is special to me because she was my first.  She has this girly way about her that you just can’t help but loving.  Plus, she thinks she’s an adult and tries to talk to me like she is me.  Most of the time this is hilarious and I just want to squeeze her and never let her go.  Other times I wonder where she gets the audacity (from me!) to speak to me that way.  Either way it’s entertaining to watch.

My son is my light.  He shows me a rebellious side of himself that I never possessed and admire so much.  He is going to be my only boy (I’m pregnant with another girl) and he has such an expressive face that I love just to watch him change from mood to mood.  When he knows that he is doing something wrong and he hears me call out to him to stop, he will slowly turn his head and glare at me.  Then this devilish smile overcomes his face and he does exactly what I told him not to do.  It’s a pain, but it’s so adorable.

And this last child will be special in her own way to me as well.  My point is that I love my children differently, not on separate levels.  There is no way to compare the two because they are two different people.  But at the same time my love for them is so overwhelming I think it consumes me sometimes.  I could never show one more love than the other. 

Now this may change in the future when we hit teenage years….. We’ll just have to wait and see.