Today I was watching my 18 month old son play with his older sister. Everything she would do, he would have to mimic her actions. Although it was a jumbled attempt, it made me wonder about what my husband has been saying. He tells me that we need to buy more boy toys to make him more masculine. Being the new woman I am, and slightly feminist, I brush off what he says and inform him that no amount of boy or girl toys will make our son anything other than what he was born to be. But his statement did make me wonder—do gender specific toys make a difference?
With all of the toys out there on the shelves, almost all of them are gender specific. There are Barbie’s, play dresses, toy trucks, and mini work tools. Unless a child is still considered an infant, there aren’t many toys that are made for both boys and girls. And after a browse through the parenting book, The Rules of Parenting by Richard Templar, there really isn’t anything in there concerning this topic. However, I did find an article, and countless comments, on Toronto parents who are raising a gender neutral child. The article talks about how the parents want to avoid stereotyping and that even the grandparents don’t know the gender of the child. Many people are saying that this is cruel and they should let the child know what gender it is. I am completely for the idea behind what the parents are trying to accomplish. Why is it so important that our children act according to what society has deemed appropriate behavior for that gender? It shouldn’t matter as long as the child is happy.
So as I see my son pick up his sister’s crying baby doll and try to console it, I smile and think what a wonderful and compassionate person he is growing up to be. I don’t care that he likes to sleep with this baby doll or if he tries to walk around in his sister’s play high-heels. He smiles and laughs and is unconscious of the differences between boys and girls toys. He is happy to be playing and I’m happy that he’s my son.
This post is so sweet and I love the outlook you have on parenting. The other day, I was in Target and a young family was in the toy isle together with their son who appeard 3 or 4 yrs old. He gravitated towards the play shopping carts (where he could pretend to play house and go to the grocery store with) and, I kid you not, his father ripped it out of his hands and said "son, that's a girls toy". The mother said nothing. The child got upset. It was really unpleasant to watch. Although I am not too sure about raising a "gender neutral" child as you mentioned either. There is most certainly a happy medium, and you seem to have found where your family is content.
ReplyDeleteThe family in the store is actually how a lot of parents act. I personally don't see an issue in letting him play with a shopping cart- he's happy and he's entertained. I like the idea of a gender neutral child, but the problem with raising a kid that way (especially like the one in Toronto) is that by making it the center of attention in the media, the family is actually making the child's life nothing but about his own gender. This just reverses anything they were trying to accomplish. Like you, I think a happy medium where the parent doesn't make a big deal about what toys the kids play with is the perfect solution.
ReplyDelete